When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Normal issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas it is a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Right this moment we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re enthusiastic about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private choice, however should you’re any form of a daily drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the best way you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. In the event you’re not ingesting through the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for at the very least 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely is just not potential whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel whenever you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It often takes a number of weeks on your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see should you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you understand you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is de facto what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. In the event you spend numerous time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which results in numerous “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly wish to take a step again.

You may not even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your inside chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol through the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting had been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down each day, and that form of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply determine that it’s not value it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I would not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when enthusiastic about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the idea that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and real looking, mannequin to make use of in the case of speaking about alcohol is the concept of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t must hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you’ll be able to discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

In the event you’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you could have options/suggestions for the way to make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new associates – haha. However, severely, if your mates really respect and assist you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently attempting to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, then you definitely would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s essential determine for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve got, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober individual round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. In the event you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s form of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam